found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
