Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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