How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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