dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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