god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
