like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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