He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize