Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
