so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
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I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
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you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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