Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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