I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Actions speak louder than pants.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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