Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
