where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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