i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
