Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My feet surprised me
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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