Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize