I wish my penis had an off switch
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize