i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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