Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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