I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Never underestimate the power of titties
How naked do you want me to be?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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