I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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