Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
