question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
