I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
