Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Betty ford says i'm here all night
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
