At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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