an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
