Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
