sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
