"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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