Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
