Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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