So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
