Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
