just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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