Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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