You just made me feel so damn special
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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