Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
