Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
