I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
How external is "for external use only"?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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