Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
