Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
