butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
