The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So many bounce houses so little time
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
