this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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