He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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