I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
sex in a hospital.. check
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
