You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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