Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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