My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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