we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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