was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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