Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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