We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
