Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
