So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
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Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
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As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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