you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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