so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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