where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
