ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
