apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
