Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i drank out of a bidet.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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